A High Standard pistol magazine. Nope, nothing assault related about it, it's just a magazine that goes in those pistols that the target shooters like and you give to your kids to play with. They called it a HI CAP magazine. I don't get around guns or gun people that much, so I had no idea what a HI CAP magazine was. Sounds like a stoned cap pistol to me. Well, it turns out you can't list anything on eBay that holds more than ten rounds. I didn't even check until it got kicked off, and sure enough it holds 11 rounds, and might even hold 12, if you pry around a bit with your mumble peg knife. I just feel like a terrorist. And here it is, the vicious assault clip.

Well, what'll ya trade for that!! Considerin' it's wild history, and that they probably don't make these no mo, it ought to be worth at least twenty bucks in trade. Whaddya think?

But Wait!! That ain't all! Here's one of the three things that got me kicked off ebay for six weeks. It was just supposed to be a month, but by the time we got done with all the piddlin around and writin back and forth, it was at least six weeks. OK! Are you ready for this ebay felony?? Send the wimmen and kids out of the room cause this is a shocker! A United States Army Military Police Badge decal! Ain't no where in their rules where it says you can't post decals, but sure enough, they kicked it of and suspended me for it. They said it could be used for a badge to impersonate with. Who can argue with that kinda guvment thinkin? Since ebay says it and they can't be wrong, it should be worth an easy five bucks. If not, whatchu wanna give for it? I hesitate to illustrate it here because there are probably millions of terrorists waiting to print these out, paste them to their foreheads and run amok, but in the interest of the first amendment freedom and providing you with this valuable service, I'll take the chance.

Ready for the next-un?? This is real terrorist stuff. The police chief down in Hewitt Texas gave these away to about everybody, including kids. It's less than two inches high but not small enough to qualify as a mini and it still could be mistaken for a real police badge, uh huh and a Volkswagen could be mistaken for a Rolls because they both have four wheels. Here it is........... It oughta be worth at least $20. You'll make more than that your first night impersonating a Hewitt Texas Junior Cop, or even better, get free lodging at your local graybar hotel.

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